AN INTERVIEW WITH SPIDER WEBB

by Scott McCool and Jay Powell (Art Intensity Network)
Photos courtesy of Spider Webb
From the February 2005 issue of Prick Magazine.

At the last Meadowlands show, we got Spider Webb in the house! As a tattooer and an artist, this guy has been in the business for many, many years, and is the real deal. His pieces in the art gallery which center around 911 and the World Trade Center tragedy are very moving, especially hearing the story of each one. With so many stories to tell, we were glad we had the chance meet him and have him share a few. We look forward to talking with him again real soon.

Jeremiah: When did you start tattooing?

Spider: First of all, I'm not in a business. A business is like joining a club. I'm trying to just piss my way through life without joining a club. Ok, what did you want to ask me?

All right then, how long have you been hanging out in the world?

Oh, fuck, about 1000 years.

So you and Yoda were tattooing back in the day?

That's right, when only clits were tattooed. You know, funny thing, speaking about clits and tattooing and how people impose weird shit upon their children and upon themselves ... have you guys ever done a video on tattooing clits? 'Cause that's what I've been doing a lot of lately, so if anyone wants their clit tattooed, call me. That's what I'm into.

No, but any time your ready to do it, we got the camera crew.

And we're also having a contest for the best pierced hemorrhoid.

So, let's talk about your art. Can people find your work at Spiderwebb.com?

Ha! You do that and you get this fucking guy in Australia. Funny story: My friend calls me up and says 'Hey, you should have Spider Webb .com' and I'm like,'I guess I'll have what I can have.' And my friend says 'No, I'll try to get that for you.' Well he calls back and says the guy will sell it to me for $1000 dollars and my friend wants to know what I want him to say to the man. I said tell him to go fuck himself. My site is www.Spiderwebbusa.com.

So, did you know G.G.Allin? We just met his brother Merle not to long ago at the DC convention.

Yeah, I know Merle real well; I just played with the original Murder Junkies a few weeks ago in DC. I'm one of those long time guest guys. I'm a Murder Junkie myself [he shows us a Murder Junkie tattoo on his shoulder]. It's weird how likes attract like in life and like being in their band; I think that was fucking cool.

Any good stories?

Well, I've been fucking thrown out of more freaking places in my life. They won't let me play in the Meadowlands anymore. All the bands want me to play with them, but they're scared I'm going to take a shit on stage. I wouldn't do that. Maybe just a little shake [he shakes his dick]. I've spent my whole life getting thrown out of places, so there you go. I?ve played with Johnny Winter, Tiny Tim, Muddy Waters, Pantera, there's a lot of fucking people I've played with.

You got any Pantera stories?

They were just at my studio. They were on the OzzFest tour and stopped by. A story ... ummm ...well, I met them in Brazil one night a 1000 years ago. A friend told me I should go up and play with them. I didn't know who they were, but if they were as coked out as I was, fuck it, okay. It was great. They are fucking cool guys.

You do art, you play music, you tattoo, you've been around the world, you hung out with GG, Pantera, tell us the secret to success.

I didn't know this was success...?

To travel the world and do your thing, I think is great.

I think anybody who is not living their dreams is a fucking asshole. I live in New York City and I watch people and I see them running ? suits and ties, the same people I saw fall out of the trade center ? running for trains, I say,'Why is that fucking idiot running.' He's running in a hurry to get someplace to push a button on time. I'm like 'What? HELLO, reality check...' What the fuck is that. I learned as a child that you have a choice of how to live your life. Why should you live your life wishing you should have done this or that? You should just get off your fucking ass and do it or admit to yourself that you're a chicken shit asshole and are to scared to do it. I'm not afraid. What's the worse thing that can happen to you? Get killed? You can't torture anybody, the human body can take a lot of shit. I learned this in prison. You ever been to prison? Fuck you, you learn shit. You learn that nobody can hurt you, you can only hurt yourself. That's a very Zen fucking thing that you learn in the joint or you fucking die or end up with a dick in your ass. I make tattoo machines; do you want to see them?

Sure. (He showed us around his gallery of art. Amazing stuff.)

I make machines with Annie Sprinkles earrings, and I make them out of pieces of the Trade Center. I do portraits of people in the machine like a canvas.

That's pretty sentimental, to use a piece of the Trade Center in a tattoo machine.

A lot of people give me shit about it. Other people give me things from the Trade Center. They picked it up. They didn't know better; its human nature to pick something up, and we all do it. I don't' have a problem with the families. I don't give a flying fuck about being politically correct 'cause I was there. My fucking city, shit blown all over my fucking face and I picked it up. So boo hoo to anybody who doesn't like me using the Trade Center. Go back to where ever you live, don't come to my city.

Who's going to be the next president?

Who gives a shit, talk to Charlie Manson about politics, and don?t waste my fucking time with that shit, sonny.

How long did it take to do all this art?

Seven months.

Tell us the story; there must be over 70 pieces here.

Seventy! Shit, are you fucking kidding me?! I made over 2000 pieces, giant paintings to life size sculptures. I worked for seven fucking months. The fucking city is blown up; I was working 24 hours a day sometimes. I got a big bag of weed and tons of Jack Daniels and I stayed in my chair for seven months. Stupid ass thing to do. I thought the world was coming to an end, so that's where all this came from.

To see the entire interview and the artwork, go to www.weststreetnewz.com. Look for this interview on a future volume of The Art Intensity Network video series.

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